Schema Therapy in a nutshell
Do these statements resonate with you?
“I’ve tried everything, but still can’t help but feel this way”
“I don’t know why I feel so negative about myself”
“I don’t know how to set boundaries”
“I am quick to criticise myself, or others”
“No matter how much I try to change, I find myself doing the same thing over again”
These are common statements I hear from clients who have tried therapy and other “helpful” strategies, yet find themselves cycling back to familiar, problematic patterns. Often, this happens because we haven't quite figured out the origins of why these behaviours or patterns began. Believe it or not, they usually started as a protective or helpful function, which is why your brain and body are so reluctant to let them go.
Schemas: The "Emotional Blueprints" of Our Lives
Think of schemas as deep-seated emotional memories or blueprints that formed very early in life (sometimes even pre-verbally, more like a "felt sense"). These emotional memories become pillars of truth that govern how you think, feel, react, and make decisions throughout your life.
When we've experienced adversity, trauma, or when our core emotional needs weren't adequately met in childhood, we can develop what we call "maladaptive" or unhelpful schemas. These schemas then continue to shape how we experience and navigate the world. When these schemas are triggered, we build various ways of coping with it. Let’s look at an example:
Schema Therapy: Getting to the Root of the Problem
Schema Therapy is a relational approach to therapy that aims to get to the root of the problem, rather than just applying a band-aid over the surface. To do this, we delve into your childhood experiences, explore early attachments and relationships, understand your temperament and identify your go-to coping styles. This helps us understand why certain patterns or blueprints developed in the first place.
Once we have a clear understanding of why these maladaptive schemas developed, we can begin the process of:
Exploring and even correcting some of these ingrained beliefs.
Experiencing alternative ways to process and express emotions.
Meeting some of those core emotional needs that may have been unmet in childhood.
Fostering healthier and adaptive ways of responding and relating.
We use a variety of strategies to achieve the above.
I refer to Schema Therapy as a 'relational' approach because one of the most powerful tools for change used is the therapeutic relationship or bond between you and your therapist. There will be times where compassion and validation is the priority, but also what we call "empathic confrontation," where your therapist may gently, yet empathetically, challenge you to confront some difficult truths. This willingness to lean into discomfort is often an essential part of lasting change, especially for those who come to therapy feeling stuck and ready for things to be different.
Given that schemas almost always develop in childhood and have been enduring well into adulthood, Schema Therapy is typically a longer-term therapeutic model (I’m talking years not months!). It's not a "quick fix," but it offers lasting change for those who come into the therapeutic space with a genuine willingness to embark on this journey of healing and self-discovery.
To find out more about Schema Therapy, click here.
